Baby will be back in another 7 days and i cant wait... HE called me this morning while he was the the rover. guess he muz haf read the smses i sent him for the past 2 days. Things seems better on the surface, at least i got half of my money back. But my dad kept saying things that hurt. He was trying to say that why sld i be angry or anxious. "No money you can come back and eat. I lose my job than you got nothing to eat!" He kept repeating this to me so so many times. Why in the first place i'm penniless? Did i gamble or spend on some jewellery? Nope i din... i used all my money on paying for something that is NONE OF MY FUCKING RESPONDSIBLITY! But too bad everything was under my name, if i dun pay i die, if i pay i die. So both way i die and the my-dad's-beloved-asshole-boy is safe from all harm and danger and he DID NOT get scoldings either. Why am I born as a girl? Is it my fault that i am a girl? So when shit happens it is a duty/responsibility/must for me to take all blames and scoldings? Or maybe it was my fucking fault that all these happened? Argh...I'm going crazy....